REJECTED!!!1

So, on Friday I filled out and handed in my degree application. Monday I find out it was not approved. So kiddies, Calvin's not graduating in January! Whoopeee! *rolls eyes* According to the evaluator, my grades won't be high enough to graduate after this semester, even with best case scenario. I'm kinda sad about it in some ways. I really wanted to graduate and start anew in January, but clearly that's not going to happen. With my plans derailed (again), I have to remap my course of action. Or should I say, map it out. The good thing out of all this is that I get to hang out with the new people I've met this year for just a bit longer, I get to sing with my a cappella group longer and participate in the ICCA competition, and I get to boss people around at the Commons more. The extra learning of stuff won't be so bad either. The only real bad part is that my mother is super pissed right now. So pissed that she called my dad. My dad's not pissed at all. Mainly because he understands how difficult college can be. He's gone through similar situations in college. And apparently my sisters are having trouble in college as well grades wise. So it's good to know someone's on my side. Actually my mother is the only one not on my side. My grandmother, my aunt and uncle, my dad, they understand that this shit's not easy. I've struggled so much with school, and at many times trying to keep my fucking sanity. She should be fucking glad i'm still here trying to tough it out. My brother never made it past freshman year of college. They kicked him the fuck out. I'm not giving up on this, i've gone too far and i need to finish this. If it takes me till this May, then shit, so be it. Let my mother be mad, that's not gonna stop me. the end of the road is near. How near? About 7 months. Ah well!

</rant>

If there's anything I've learned in my bloggings, it's that I sure can make a good rant!

In the good news department, Halloween's coming up! WOO!! I'm trying to plan out my costume right now. I reckon the goth look will be my theme this year. I've checked out the Hot Topic web site for ideas, and I have a general idea of what I want to go for. It's going to kick ass! Once I pick up my check today, it's all a matter of convincing people to take me to the mall and my plan will be under way. I shall be taking pictures. Many pictures. I'm making sure people cherish this sight, because I'm not sure when or even if I'll ever do this again. Needless to say, if I can pull this off, I will turn some heads! well, here's to hoping! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a midterm to study for!

WOOOOOOOO! *crash*

Stuck in Solitary Confinement....

...for until at least 4:30pm today. Right now I'm sitting in the sound booth of Wilde Auditorium working as the sound tech for an event that will be going on all day today. At least I got lucky, I could've been the tech that opened up, he had to be here at 5am. And I have my computer here in this hole. So I'll be fine. Maybe I'll get some music editing time in. Sweet!

Let's see, anything of interest happen in the past week. I got to see CJ, Jessie, Laura and Christian over the weekend. I got to be Scottish for a few hours. There was a Scottish festival in Goshen, CT on Saturday, and CJ, Jessie, Laura and I hung out there for a while. We saw some pretty cool events, an awesome Scottish band, and bagpipes! Sunday, CJ, Jessie and I caught up with Christian and we loitered at his place of work for a few hours. It was fun!

Classes are going pretty good right now. Last week threw me off in terms of keeping up with schoolwork, but I'm back on the trail this week. That's about it for right now. Time for music making and solitary goodness!

However, in the "Good News" Department....

I have a new song posted up on my music page. It started off as a pretty simple music riff that i played around with on my monome using a program called flin. I routed the riff into Reason, and turned it into an almost 5 minute long late 90s R&B beat. I really love this one. I hope you love it too. It's called "Digitize."

http://music.ccwii.net

Well, that was unexpected....

This past week, for lack of a better word, sucked ass. My friendship with Carla hit an unexpected and quite abrupt end on Saturday. Needless to say, I'm not in the most shining of moods right now. Not going to get into what happened (if you really want to know, drop me a comment or email and I'll tell you), but all I know is that in the end I did what I thought was right, and if that means her being mad at me for the rest of eternity, so be it. At least my conscience is clean and I can keep it moving.

Actually the "keep it moving" part has been harder to do than I thought. It's almost like four years of friendship, good times and hard times are worth toilet paper, and it's kinda hard to let go, especially the feelings I had for her. Today I feel good enough to say that I can keep going, but I just needed some time to be emo and purge some sadness. I'm quite thankful for the group that had my back in the whole incident, I'm not sure how things would've turned out without them.

And on top of that, I have another friend that's in the midst of a tough spot right now, in a situation that by comparison makes mine look like nothing, but the same way she had my back last week, I've got her back. All I hope is that in due time things will get better, for all of us. Being a sad panda is no fun.

As bad as last week's situation was, I still want to be Carla's friend, I just don't know if the feeling is mutual. A lot of things go through my mind right now: Is she ok? How is she feeling? Is she still mad? Could she still want to be friends after what happened? I dunno, I'm trying to tread lightly, trying to figure out if I should make a move or play the waiting game? Bah.