Well, that was unexpected....

This past week, for lack of a better word, sucked ass. My friendship with Carla hit an unexpected and quite abrupt end on Saturday. Needless to say, I'm not in the most shining of moods right now. Not going to get into what happened (if you really want to know, drop me a comment or email and I'll tell you), but all I know is that in the end I did what I thought was right, and if that means her being mad at me for the rest of eternity, so be it. At least my conscience is clean and I can keep it moving.

Actually the "keep it moving" part has been harder to do than I thought. It's almost like four years of friendship, good times and hard times are worth toilet paper, and it's kinda hard to let go, especially the feelings I had for her. Today I feel good enough to say that I can keep going, but I just needed some time to be emo and purge some sadness. I'm quite thankful for the group that had my back in the whole incident, I'm not sure how things would've turned out without them.

And on top of that, I have another friend that's in the midst of a tough spot right now, in a situation that by comparison makes mine look like nothing, but the same way she had my back last week, I've got her back. All I hope is that in due time things will get better, for all of us. Being a sad panda is no fun.

As bad as last week's situation was, I still want to be Carla's friend, I just don't know if the feeling is mutual. A lot of things go through my mind right now: Is she ok? How is she feeling? Is she still mad? Could she still want to be friends after what happened? I dunno, I'm trying to tread lightly, trying to figure out if I should make a move or play the waiting game? Bah.